Wedding Bells

This song is so upbeat, but depressing. Similar to myself. I'm glad Lissie's coming out with something new soon if it hasn't come out already. With tax season being over, work is kinda cut throat. We specialize in scare tactics. I need to work on mine. And be less intimidated by them.

I get really paranoid about some things. Not that it's likely people know things or look me up... but I don't hide myself very much so any kind of random reference to things from my past sets off my paranoia alerts. Oh well. That's part of what goes along with putting yourself out there. I don't lie. But I try not to volunteer info that isn't really important to know about myself either. Talked about bipolar people with someone at work and it briefly made me wonder if he included that small bit of info because of this very blog. I wasn't like, "Ermuhgerrrrrrrd, I know EXACTLY how those people are..." But I kinda joked about it, possibly selling myself out. Oh well. If you're digging about info about me, here it is. Ermuhgerd, like it would be so shocking. Heh.

I need to give less stress about what others' opinions of me are. A work in progress... like so many aspects of my life. I started doing the church thing again. I think I'm going to commit and follow through with it. It will give me something better to focus on. Working on my spirituality. I've gone the past 3 weekends... even did a penance and lit a candle for prayer and meditation in the chapel. I did a lot better when I was a more spiritual person.

No more nose ring. It yanked out yesterday morning and was a hassle to change, so I just said forget it. It was fun for the year I had it. But I feel myself going in a different direction and I usually lose a piercing or gain one when that happens. Plus I'm likely to get a tattoo this weekend, so there we go. New body mod, new phase. I'm sure I'll know more about that by the end of this week.

Electric Feel

I have to remember that I found my strength growing up as being part of a team, not as just a singular entity. My success was being in the chorus. Yes, from time to time, I was a soloist. But my strength has always been in being a team player. I need to work on my confidence. I can't be bright and shiny like I'd like to be without contributing to some of what's around me. It's selfish and it's all in vain to try to be fabulous without bringing some of what's around me in on it.

I tend to dwell on negative things and I have to learn to experience and release things. If they're meant to happen, they will in due time. Can't focus on all the wrong things. I just have to be patient and do my best with what I'm given. Maybe dance it up a little bit. But don't turn things into what they don't need to be.