I've heard there was a secret chord that David played, and it pleased the Lord, but you don't really care for music, do you?

Today was Thanksgiving. I have a funny feeling about this holiday. It was Thanksgiving 2000 when I last saw my Grandmother as her real self. It was Thanksgiving 2007 I tried to really commit suicide, like balls to the wall attempt. Obviously, my balls aren't as big as I'd like to think because I'm still here to tell the tale. Last Thanksgiving, my dad just had a stent placed in both his thighs and I had to call an ambulance for Mike because he overdid it on my Adderall.

I remember for almost 10 years I'd have two Thanksgivings.... one with Mike's family and we'd stop by my family's place until a dish was broken or someone got too drunk. I don't have that escape anymore. Which is fine. I feel closer to my family now than maybe I ever did. Except my mom. My mother and I have always and will always have a strained relationship. I've acceopted this. I can't do anything about it. She's jealous of me. I know that sounds ridiculous, but she is. She has no reason to be. I wish t wasn't the case. But I can't change her, only she can.

No one should really be jealous of anyone for any reason. We should celebrate each other instead. Envy is so negative. We should want to work towards being more like someone we admire rather than hate and be jealous of what we don't feel we can live up to.

No one lives up to their true potential. That's why we should help each other up when we're down or reach down to pick someone up when we're at a high point, so we can share those experiences rather than just shit on people because they aren't what we expect them to be. Because those are our selfish expectations, not theirs. How dare we expect someone to live up to our expectations when we can't even usually live up to our own.


So be thankful for your loves because they enhance your life. Even be thankful for your enemies because they show you what you don't want to be. Be thankful for the life you live and every breath you take. Be thankful for the tears you shed because those are your emotions. Be thankful for you faith or lack therof because those are YOUR beliefs and you have every right as an individual to have them.

Be thankful for yourself :)