Head Over Heels

I love this song. Every time I hear it, that Donnie Darko montage plays in my head. Splendiferous! So apparently, I seem to be attracting more and more people to at least view my blog. They might not read it, but they view it. Totally inflates my ego to be way larger than it needs to be.

My cubby-mate The Binding Machine (lol) took it upon himself to become my mentor. I'm actually grateful that someone gives enough of a damn to genuinely explain things to me and break things down without making me feel like a total moron. He critiques, but not in a way that makes me feel like shit. He doesn't hover. He gives me space. And he tells me I'm doing well which really makes the world of difference. He's been awesome. Ha. I think "awesome" is his favorite word. But yeah, that's the key difference. I've gotten help from other people, some who seemed irritated and others who were actually really helpful also.

It's nice getting praise while learning. Hell, I think it makes knowledge absorb more quickly. You attribute positive things and I think that stimulates your brain hella better than criticism. I think criticism makes you more prone to shut down and be less enthusiastic about learning.

I've been talking to myself and trying to make myself more comfortable talking to people and trying to get them to at least let me quote them which could lead to a bind. My family prolly thinks I'm insane. More so than usual. But I want to go from being the shittiest rep to being one of the best. I need to prove everyone who thinks I'm a failure wrong. Not for them, but for myself. Because I convinced myself they were right. I don't need to prove anything to anyone other than myself when it comes down to it.

I just had a conversation with my best friend in the whole world, Fossett. She was the first new person I met after the first coma. We were talking about how we were both not really on the level lately and then she told me about her dude. I have my opinions of him, but as long as she's happy that's all that really matters. But we both have resigned ourselves to the fact that what's going to happen is going to happen regardless of what we say, think, and/or do. She helped me confront my current issues and told me to challenge my mind's weakness basically.

Soft core porn and high fives, Dietzel is out.