::sigh::

I can't shake this awful feeling in my heart, like there's a void, but it's not empty... It's filled with disappointment and grief. I grieve for something that was totally wrong for me though. One of my friends said that he was wrong for letting me turn into what I became before I picked myself up again. I agree, but only to a degree. I ultimately let myself become that monster. He just helped enable it.

I finally feel some real closure. I think seeing him at Wal-Mart and then him starting to date some new girl needed to happen to really seal that closed. I won't even try to give myself any false hope or bluff false hope with expectation riding behind it. I just need to accept what it is for what it is and move forward. Don't look back... Like Dylan in the movies... That should have been the title to this entry.

My heart burns like an onion... That was 10 years ago. There are some people I kinda almost entertain the idea of maybe flirting with. But I need to make sure I'm okay before I pursue anything real.