Judy And Her Dream Of Horses

Well, today was another day. Another day I'm thankful for. I have less than 30 dollars for the next month (or until taxes come back, whichever comes first) and no job lined up yet. But I feel love from my friends and family. And I have my music.

One of my friends is having a hard time. I wish I could help, but there's nothing anyone can say when you feel like there's no hope. You have to find it yourself. It's out there, but it's never really handed on a platter. I lose it sometimes. Very often, in fact. Like Toodles loses his marbles in Hook. But whether I'm 30 or 60, I'll find them eventually.

Hope goes hand in hand with faith. And I really don't struggle with hope as much as I do with faith. Hell, I even tried going to Midnight Mass on Christmas Eve and then freaked out and walked home at midnight instead of just staying through a church service. I feel spirituality... I'm making it a goal to go to at least 3 different religious places of worship in 2013 to see what all the hype is in the differences. I've already done Presbyterian and Catholic services. I should expose myself to other things I think.

I told my best friend Ocean (that's what I'm calling her in my writings from now on, I promised so I guess I'll start here) that I was going to compose all of my writings (LJ, written diaries, blogs, etc...) in a year or two and start working on my novel. Maybe I'll start sooner. But I have to have my own laptop first. With a deadlock. LOL. I know my mother. She'd try to read it. Maybe I'll let her proofread it for me. But then her hair would turn white, so maybe not...


But I think I have it in me to finally compile all of these random thoughts and quirky stories into something legible and worth reading... If not for anyone other than myself, so be it. But I have a feeling if I wrote it, they would read. (Field of Dreams reference, not referring to the crazies that reside in my head).

So much to think about. Tonight is going to be cold. Yarrr.