Gah. I'm starting to feel the pressure at work, but i'm not getting discouraged. I can't. I have to have a firm backbone and not take anything personally, whether it's calls or management. It's just a job. And I like it. So I'm going to put the "e" in effort and try my best.
I won't be the cause of my own failure. Not anymore. I have to prove my own worth and keep the fire under my ass. And I know I can do it. This is where I can utilize things in my favor instead of letting it trip my ass up like I'm prone to do.
I'm gonna ask if I can stay late to beef up my stats. I have expectations to live up to. I try to keep my cool, but for some reason I believe i'm going to be screaming about underpants gnomes by the end of today. But it's worth it. I want my space and a fur baby.
It's strange. 2 months ago I was going to kill myself. Now I'm a point of comfort for a few people who are going through a tough time. It's so strange. I'm trying to be a good point of contact and support. It's important to have that when you're going through a rough time. I know all too well.
I'm going to try to quit smoking again. Prolly not til after tax season though. I need my break in the oasis. I should try to spend half of my lunch reading instead of blogging and chain smoking. That will be my first step in the process.
My counselor said it's better to set realistic goals. That makes them more attainable. And makes it so that I'm less likely to fail. And that makes me less likely to be so harsh on myself. Which I figure will make me less self-destructive. Woot. I can finally think rationally!
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